"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, oh Lord..." Psalm 19:14

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

trying to save my manna

The Israelites did as they were told; some gathered much, some little. And when they measured it by the omer, he who gathered much did not have too much, and he who gathered little did not have too little. Each one gathered as much as he needed. Then Moses said to them, "No one is to keep any of it until morning." -Exodus 16:17-18

The hardest thing about God's provision is that He only gives us enough for Today. Now, whether today means literally today...or this year...or this season in life, it depends I guess. At any rate, I understand the Isrealites' struggle and I'm totally admitting that I am trying to be a manna-hoarder right now. I know, can you believe it? The Lord, in His kindness, has poured out to me blessings upon blessings...money, relationships, security, belonging, more "stuff" than I care to have...and here I am, trying to hide away my money in some bank account...and my relationships in some corner of my heart, hoping I can keep 'em for later...just in case.

I don't know yet what God is calling me to do, or where He's calling me to be. But I do know that He's given me enough for Today...and when tomorrow becomes today, that will still hold true.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

some mad hope

I know this is the title of a popular Matt Nathanson album right now...and I'm pretty sure he's not talking about Jesus, but these three words keep coming back to me because it's the best way I can think of to describe the state of my heart tonight.

I've never felt so uncertain, so challenged, so uprooted...and, at the same time, so madly, unbelievably hopeful.

(Wow, two posts in one night. Must be the caffeine. :)

Saturday, May 16, 2009

i know this much is true

"My flesh and heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." -Psalm 73:26

I lost my job this week. But He's asking for so much more than that.

You’re calling me to lay down everything. You’re calling me to leave it all behind. You’re calling me to surrender this false security…and to rest in You alone.

And even though my heart doth faileth…even though the tears stream down…I know in every fragment of my being, that this is all I want. I will have it no other way.