"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, oh Lord..." Psalm 19:14

Saturday, May 22, 2010

things we never talk about

I think one of Satan's greatest tactics is to get God's people, or anybody really, to avoid pressing issues and difficult questions. He keeps us from thinking about deep things when we're alone, and he keeps us from talking about deep things when we're together. He makes us feel awkward...or ridiculous...or downright crazy. I mean, think about how many times in a day you stop yourself from saying or doing something simply because you're afraid of how people will respond, or you stop yourself from thinking something, because you don't know where those thoughts will take you. The flow of culture and the social pressures we face have such a powerful hold on us.

It reminds me of that part in C.S. Lewis' Screwtape Letters, when the guy is sitting in a museum (I think?) and begins to wonder about life and God and all the things that really matter. But then, suddenly, he remembers he's hungry, and there ends the pursuit for truth. Later, he says. When I'm not so hungry or when I have more time. He exchanges thoughts on eternal matters...for thoughts on cheeseburgers. Good grief.

Really, though, it makes sense, right? Of course we face the most resistance when thinking about or talking about the things that really matter.

Even as I write this, I must admit, I'm a little nervous. What if I say something that makes people feel awkward, or makes me look like a fool? And, call me crazy, but that right there tells me it's something that probably needs to be said.

You see, I think this kind of fear runs far deeper than we realize. And, I think, it's often the thing that keeps us from experiencing God more deeply and from seeing real, authentic fellowship. Sometimes I feel so attached to the "social norm" of Christianity that when God asks me to think outside of that box, or challenges me to do something different, I'm tempted to just say no. Oh God, doesn't that seem too "radical"? Will I be understood? And really, what will people think? But then, I am cut to the heart, and I realize that I, too, am exchanging the eternal for foolish and fleeting alternatives. Okay, maybe not for cheeseburgers this time, but for the approval of others, or for the sake of fitting in, or to simply protect my own reputation.

I hate the thought of people not understanding me. It's like the worst. But if that's the thing keeping me from deeper intimacy with God, then it'll have to go.

Do you know what I'm talking about? Do you wonder these same things? What is God calling you to think about, or say, or do that doesn't quite fit into the "social norm"? Maybe you're supposed to consider questions you don't know the answers to, or maybe it's all about bringing up conversations that might make people feel uncomfortable, or maybe, you're just meant to stand when everyone around you is sitting.

Whatever it is, you're really being asked to defy the lies of the Enemy and to take a risk of faith, whether other people get it....or not.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

unanswered questions

A strange sight: empty streets of Bangkok after Wednesday night's curfew time of 8pm
(photo compliments of Bangkok Post).

Wow, what a week it's been here in Bangkok! Just a little recap for those I haven't talked to:

...School was canceled Monday and Tuesday, as the downtown protests escalated and the army got more involved in the crack-down.

...Wednesday, we continued with school, but by the end of the day, our classes had dwindled to a handful of students -- mainly the kids who live closer to the school where it's still relatively safe.

...Now, school has been canceled for the rest of the week. At first it seemed a little strange, since yesterday afternoon the protests finally were broken up and many Red Shirt leaders surrendered. But soon after the announcement, we started hearing rumors of fires. Turns out some Red Shirt radicals (or others?) decided to torch several buildings in the city.

...All of the area banks and malls closed Wed. afternoon. Then, a curfew on the whole city of Bangkok was announced for the evening, from 8pm to 6am.

...Several prominent buildings have been set on fire (none particularly close to us, though some of them we visit often). One of the best malls we have in the city -- and one of the largest malls in Asia -- was completely destroyed by the flames. It's unbelievable. (This mall was already empty and has been closed for weeks, because it was very close to the protest site.)

...Things are pretty quiet now, and the curfew will continue for the next few days, just in case.

So that's the latest. Now, what do I think of all this? I wish I knew.

I feel really sad for Thailand. But it's a deep kind of sad that I don't even really understand. I feel like something very monumental happened yesterday, but there's no way for me to grasp what it all means. I want to walk in the unwavering hope and joy of knowing that God surely is moving among us and is doing great things here even though it doesn't look like it. But I also want to honor the loss and sadness of the Thai people who call this place home, for it seems the face of Thailand has changed forever.

And through all of this, even deeper questions have come to challenge my heart. What do we pray for, as we pray for the nations and ask for God's will to be done among us? What do we hope for, as we live in a broken world, and as eternity awaits us? What does it look like to follow Jesus whole-heartedly -- all barriers removed -- and to be broken for the things He is broken for, to love what He loves? Maybe most people never really know, this side of heaven.

And the most haunting question, do I want to know?



*See more photos from yesterday's events at this link: http://www.vaitor.com/?p=1686

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Echoes of Eternity: finding where we belong


The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.

Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind, there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire.

And after the fire came a gentle whisper.

-1 Kings 19: 11-12


Our last night on the trail, Nirmala, our dear and beautiful Nepali guide, shared with us the kind of impression we made on her and the other porters that week. Her words summed up the trip in so many ways.

“The way you all act, you act like you’re a family,” she said. Then, she added, “and when we’re with you, we feel like part of that family too.”

In that moment, I knew we had been part of something very precious…and very eternal.

I understood what Nirmala meant, for there is just something about the feeling of community that speaks to the human heart. It seems like, within all of us, is the desire and hunger to be part of something bigger than ourselves....to belong. And when that's made real, when love is sincere and hearts are united, there simply may not be a better way to reflect God's Kingdom Come on earth. Such moments are echoes of things eternal. They’re those times when the things of earth – if only in passing – mingle with those of eternity, when our great and powerful God reaches down from Heaven and speaks right into our very souls.

In Nepal, these echoes cried out to us everywhere. God's hand was upon us through the sweetness of Christ-centered fellowship and belonging. Even the first night was memorable in this way. We all came together and sang worship songs by candlelight, sipping masala tea; it was so fun, we could hardly stop. And then, we broke out into a Nepali dance party – including porters, travelers, even the restaurant owners.

For me, all of this struck an especially softened chord within my heart. After growing up in a twice-broken family and moving several times, it seems my whole life has been characterized by this pursuit for belonging. And yet these “echoes of eternity” we speak of have simply never been enough. See, the trouble is, echoes will always only be echoes. They don’t satisfy our deepest desires; they simply arouse them, for they were only meant to point us to something greater. As I considered my own heart that night, I was convicted in realizing how many times I have taken to chasing those echoes, trying to fill eternal places with earthly things – even when I know it’s futile.

In the next several mornings, five words from Paul in 2 Corinthians would not leave my mind: Having nothing, yet possessing everything. I thought about them as I leapt over rocks, and as I marched up the steps of our trail. I meditated on them as I crossed streams, and bridges, and waterfalls…very aware of how accurately the words described my life. It’s true, I have nothing I had set out to find. I have nothing I imagined God would bring to show me His love and answer my cry for belonging. I thought it would come in family, or in a hometown, or in a church. I thought He’d speak through stability and long-lasting relationships. Yet none of those things I have claim to today. And as I skipped down the trail, the core of my being knew that somehow it didn’t matter.

There I was, in the mountains of Nepal with a group of people I didn’t even know a year ago…and my heart was so full. There I stood, future unknown and wide open...yet in the firm and steady hands of my Provider. How could I not trust this God, who brings me gifts I don’t even ask for, relationships I don’t expect, joys I never knew of? While nothing tangible can be written beside my name, my great Father has provided for every hope and prayer and need. What am I doing, chasing the echoes, when I know the One who calls?

And somewhere in the middle of the trek, in awestruck surrender, I gave up my pursuit.


Throughout the trip, and even once I got home, that verse stuck with me: having nothing, yet possessing everything. So when I could, I decided to look it up in the Greek; I wanted to see if the verb “having” was any different from the verb “possessing.”

I navigated my way through…Crosswalk.com…Bible study tools…Greek lexicon…2 Corinthians 6:10….

I read about the first verb and how it’s related more to earthly things, things that one could claim or literally hold – whether property, or a marriage, or a state of mind. Then I read about the second verb, “possessing,” which is more active and all about holding back something, or securing something for the long run.

It was all very interesting, but none of that really struck me quite as much as when the page for the word “having” first uploaded. In fact, I blinked twice, a little confused by what I saw before me. For lo and behold, at the top of the page, in big, bold letters was the word…echo.

The Greek word for that verb, “having,” is the word echo. Echo, can you believe it?

And then it all made sense.

The homes and property and earthly wealth? All just another echo.

Marriage? Family? Friendships? Echo. Echo. Echo.

All the things in our hands and those our senses experience. Simply more echoes.



Our final evening in Nepal was spent at a trust home for over 80 orphans, mostly from Tibet. They had no claim to any country, or home, or family. Yet these children knew the love of God and had each experienced His redemptive work in their young lives. I had the crazy and unexpected privilege of sharing my heart with these orphans that night. And of course, what would God have me say but answer the question, “Where do I belong?” As the Spirit-inspired words spilled from my lips, I knew this message was just as much for me as it was for them. And as we sang in worship with these phenomenal children, I even wondered if a “real” home and family could produce such rich and beautiful echoes of eternity.




Saturday, April 24, 2010

Nepal in pictures

Hi friends, I just returned from a phenomenal trip to Nepal on Monday, and to be honest, I am even still pretty moved and overwhelmed by all the beauty and joy we experienced there.

So, I know this is a first, but I kind of feel a bit speechless right now.

I know many of you will want to see pictures and such, so I've compiled some pictures my dear friends took of our journey...and I'll let the pictures do the talking...

















More to come on Nepal, I promise...

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Another day of (un)rest: the situation in Thailand


Hi all! Reporting from Bangkok, here. Maybe you've heard the rumors about political unrest in Thailand, so I wanted to explain the situation...AND especially make clear that WE ARE SAFE. ICS is quite far from any of the demonstration areas. In fact, for us, these major protests have meant a quiet weekend close to home, and now, a day off school (tomorrow).

Here are a couple links about what's happening:


Of course, there is always potential for things to go awry, so do be praying for peace and safety to continue. We also pray that the government here will make wise decisions and that all of this will result in real solutions. As a foreigner, I humbly admit that I don't fully understand all that's going on, or what to pray for regarding politics. So, most of all, please pray that political unrest moves people to spiritual unrest...and that in seeking peace and stability, the people of Thailand find true peace through Jesus Christ.

I'm feeling convicted tonight about how I allow my unbelief to stifle prayers and downsize dreams. Who are we to decide what is possible? How can we even limit our prayers or expectations to what our finite minds can imagine? In other words, may we pray in faith that God is doing something GREAT here in Thailand, and around our world, and even within our own hearts.

Until next time, this is your very own correspondent from Bangkok, signing off...

Saturday, March 6, 2010

An Ode to Mai Pen Rai

mai pen rai [my pen lie] -Thai phrase, meaning, never mind; don't worry about it; oh well. This phrase quite accurately explains many aspects of the lifestyle and attitudes of the Thai culture.


An Ode to Mai Pen Rai

Dirty floors, blackened feet.

broken shoes from this concrete.

Another day of endless heat.

Mai pen rai


People cutting me in line,

Cannot read “cash only” sign.

Wish the language here was mine.

Mai pen rai


People think that I speak Thai.

And when I look for clothes to buy,

They say, “Too small for you – no try!”

Ohhh….mai pen rai


Streets are full, no garbage cans.

Always late, a change of plans.

Where’s someone who understands?

MAI PEN RAI!


Mosquitoes biting

Soi dogs fighting

I could keep writing…

Mai pen rai

...


But even here God’s in control,

And in His care, I place my soul.

To know His Love...my only goal.


Smile. Breathe. Trust and pray.

For at the end of every day,

He always gives me grace to say…

Mai…pen…rai.


*Please note, this poem was not meant to be negative -- more like...silly! Just thought I'd share some of the frustrations of Bangkok life. Keepin' it real. :)

Monday, March 1, 2010

Things you don't see every day...


6th graders...on the loose

Last week, we had the awesome privilege of taking our lovely 6th graders on a mini-missions trip/field trip/cultural experience. The 6th grade SALT (Serving And Learning Together) trip stays right in Bangkok, but don't you worry, we still found some new and memorable experiences along the way! This picture was taken at our first stop -- The Ancient City, a park/museum with replicas of some very well-known landmarks in Thailand's history.

On with the highlights...


Superheroes...roaming the halls

Our great theme for the SALT trip was Superheroes! All of our 6th graders were part of some intense Superhero-training. In fact, that's one of the guest trainers, Miss Super Hollywood the Magnificent (don't ask). Students learned that the first step to being a real superhero is knowing that you need one too. We all need to be rescued, and Jesus is the only Hero fit for the job. :)


Painting elephants

And dancing elephants, and sitting elephants, and hungry elephants...all at Bangkok's famous Crocodile Farm. Maybe not the most impressive zoo I've been to, but it certainly was a cultural experience. Never been to a zoo where the kids can feed tigers and bears raw meat. Hmmm.

Crocodiles who could bite someone's head off...but don't

Of course, what's a crocodile farm without crocodiles? Sorry, the performers did some cooler things -- like sticking their heads in the crocodiles' mouths, but I only got video of that (and the video's sideways and I don't know how to fix it). Oh well, use your imagination.


Homework + Field Trip = Really??

Okay, so it's kind of our fault as teachers, because we gave the kids a packet to complete throughout the week. But who sits in the middle of the gift shop, during the field trip, to get it done? ...Our students, that's who. Oh, they amaze me.


Smiling servants

So I know I've been raving about these kids all year, and no, they're not perfect (far from it, hehe). BUT, wow, we were richly blessed by their hearts and attitudes at our outreach. We took the superheroes-in-training to a local elderly home. They served lunch, performed a Talent Show, and best of all, befriended the residents at the home with sweet smiles and good conversations.

One last thing you don't see every day -- 6th graders singing a Thai song with hand motions to a room full of elderly people. Can't beat that! (P.S. Sorry if this video hurts your head; I'm no cameraman.)


Last of all, some final glimpses of the trip. Thank you, Jesus, for keeping us safe, helping us bond, and showing us more of Yourself through our worship and serving and relationships!! Yeeaaah!